31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes, Testimony

The Final Door

Psalm 145:4 ESV 

One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.

It was a September afternoon. As the screen door slammed behind the dear lady, she barely flinched.

When she searched for someone along the alleyway, she didn’t know that is was the very last time that the screen door would slam behind her. In just a short time she would be walking through the open door to Heaven.

My grandmother searched for her sister that day. She even mentioned to her neighbor that she had a visitor coming to pick her up. They were going to be headed out. She knew.

Legacy follows the story.

Sometimes it’s hard to look at the whole picture. We like to pick out all the fun and laughter, and stick those things on the mantel. We forget that the things we keep behind closed doors also add to who we are and what we leave behind.

Sometimes we hide the darkness there because we forget that we are free from condemnation. We can let these things out of the dark. We need to set them free.

Grandma had struggles, sins, hurt and lived with condemnation for most of her life. She mostly pointed her finger at everyone else, but she was just humble enough to see her own failings at times. A Jesus- follower her entire life, no one ever encouraged her to seek freedom. Not a priest, nun or loved one showed her the ultimate truth at the cross.

She left this earth in further bondage then just lack of head knowledge. Falling into mental illness her final years trapped her inside her own mind. A demented jail cell kept her searching for people and ideals for years never finding the answers she so sought after. She needed someone to speak freedom to her, and no one did.

This is my sadness. I never spoke freedom to her.

Fear of watching her dying made me stand in the doorway waiting for that screen door to slam shut locking me in or pushing me out. Instead I held on to the last piece of my innocence with one foot in and one foot hovering in the space between. She was lost inside her own brain and I was lost inside my world. When she left me, I was rocked and my joy left with my friend.

Oh, dear lady, I miss you most in days like today. Your perpetual smile and silly making lifted me out of any downcast spirit I have carried so often. I long for the simplicity of life we had together, or better yet, to walk arm-in-arm along the streets of gold.

Psalm 78:4 ESV 

We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.

I tell my children stories. We laugh and laugh while looking for old recipes that taste like my childhood. A legacy lives on in food, memories, depression glassware and funny musings. I can still see her rosy cheeks smiling at me knowing that she saw my future and it was marvelous.

When the screen door slams for the last time behind me will my legacy leave faith, hope, loved and laughter? Click To Tweet

This all makes me think about what I am creating for my family. When the screen door slams for the last time behind me will my legacy leave faith, hope, loved and laughter? Will my children go searching for their childhood memories to share with the future? I pray that I do right by the Lord, follow His will and leave my loved ones with more stories than they could possibly dream of.

If you would like to hear more about my grandmother and some of her struggles with Alzheimer’s Disease, please follow this link.

You can also find my favorite memory here.

Join me as I track through 31 days of free writes with my Five Minute Writing Community. Today’s theme: FMF- DOOR.  For more posts, please click here.

 

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