While I wait, I have been pacing, sleeping, procrastinating, and making excuses.
I am not even sure what I have been waiting for. Maybe it is to feel better physically and I have procrastinated in professional help until recently. Maybe I am waiting for the year to end to seek out rest and joy in the season I am in. Maybe I am waiting for a grand opportunity to fall into my lap that I cannot possibly pass up. I know I must be waiting to win the lottery that I do not play so that I do not have to fret over life changes hence financial changes.
A couple of months ago I thought that what I truly needed was rest. Rest looked like peaceful and thorough nightly sleep, financial security, edifying relationships with difficult people, and downtime. I especially focused my thoughts on the “downtime” bit. What was this mythical idea of downtime? I needed some of that. It would surely turn my constant flurry of thoughts into peace and quiet.
I am still waiting.
Reading through the creation story and the abundance of rest that came into The Garden, I seek to understand what the Lord’s plan on the seventh day meant. God does not sleep, and mankind was in perfection at that moment and may have not needed to as well. Instead, God and man worked in joy, rested in joy, and looked at the abundance of all that was at hand in joy and completion.
Today rest is not joy in work and we often find ourselves in overabundance of unnecessary things. What we truly need is to look at the restoration that the cross brings and what will ultimately come at the Lord’s return. Focus on the things above should bring peace to our overworked weary bodies and minds, with hope overflowing from our lives.
For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” Isaiah 30:15
It is hard to live in this mindset of abundance in joy and work when we are constantly swimming upstream. Culture pushes us into the current and we often give in to the demands of men over faith. It does not work for anyone, it is not working for me. Even when I know the Lord, and I serve Him daily with my mind focused on righteousness, I fail and I often feel wrecked.
While I continue to wait, I need to continue to fight the herd and remember what that Garden stood for. One day we will return and live in perfection. All blemishes will be gone without a trace. Our sanctification will be complete. Rest will return in its purest form.
I will rest in the faith that I carry with me.