A night like all others, sleep evades me.

I toss, I turn, I change pillows, and I cover myself in sleepy essential oils. Sometimes the sleep comes, and most of the time it’s a rocky relationship.

Lately I have been wandering through my day in a fog or with aches throughout. Coffee keeps me adrift most mornings and naps call my name in the afternoons. Functioning seems a bit painful at times, but my responsibilities push and pull me forward. Mom life, homeschool life, and military spouse life don’t stop because my body doesn’t find rest.

I think back about those who came before me and how homemaking was harder, conveniences didn’t exist, and mothers had the weight of full responsibility without the ease of modern partnerships with those husbands or Pinterest recipes made easy. Women would give birth and be back at their responsibilities the next morning. When they were sick, the next door neighbor would fulfill two households worth of work. Women were strong despite sleep issues and weariness. How dare I complain when the oppression of my problem calls out for another insta-cup-of-Joe and my feet up on the recliner for five minutes. My grand-sisters in Christ would never stop to think of these things. They just propelled through and got things done.

There was that one night in Egypt. People huddled in their homes a bit tighter than usual. Mothers sat with their babies in their arms and men stood at the door waiting. Despite their weariness of slave work and every day duties, they were wide awake, desperate in prayer, petition and hope of life because that cloud of death would pass them over.

Sacrifice came and went. The blood painted on the door from that dear little lamb saved them and allowed for them a way out of their suffering. Their faith held them together. Saved by grace, they would move forward to fulfill the Lord’s promises.

Grumbling came and went, wandering did happen and God still remained faithful to His people. Despite the attitudes, falling away, and idol worship for centuries, God still had something up His sleeve. My weariness now waits for the next phase while living inside the era of grace.

Grace came again and again, with its finalilty at the cross. The little lamb no longer needed to have its blood shed when the lamb of God came.

1 Peter 1: 17- 21 For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.  He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake.  Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.

Jesus is God, therefore a perfect and spotless sacrifice. He came for the weary mothers who don’t stop for afternoon tea. He saved the fathers who stand in protection of their families. He hung on the cross for the thief, murderer and prostitute. His blood sacrifice was final and good for all humanity. For those who call upon and profess that He is Lord, His pure sacrifice saves.

Jesus takes away the sins of the world. He has mercy on all of us when we are undeserving. We could never do enough, be enough, rest enough, and create enough to fix ourselves. He came along. He became the final atonement for our sins. Pray to do well for Him and to bring Him glory in all things. He is our precious gift from God, the final lamb.

So when I kick my sheets at night, and walk in a fog in the afternoon, I remember those who have gone before me with fondness. I don’t do this out of jealousy or because I think they were braver than I, but because I know that we have a common bond, a ribbon of hope in the sacrifice that takes away our bondage of sleep deprivation and lack of rest. In the hope that we have in Christ, we find all the self-care that we need.

This post comes from the 20 Days of Devotionals series.