I sit here searching the words of Scripture looking for the right sentiment or summary of what life is like right now and I cannot find anything that wraps it up in a neat package.
The word “wonderful” is far from my lips and even farther from my heart. It is far from my home and I do not want to even type it out. I would like to embrace its meaning and have it flow through my soul, but this season it hurts to think that the definition of such a word is even attainable at this time.
You see, we all have seasons that we need to pass through. Even if you are a person who has a fairly easy life with easy family and friend relationships, a good job, a nice home, and lovely experiences, there are still times in which sadness comes and pains to face. Some of us just feel more deeply at times, face harder trials, or have sanctification punch us square in the face over and over again because God needs to prepare us for something bigger than we planned for ourselves. And because I have big plans, I cannot wrap my mind around what is on the horizon when today’s trial seems to be coming from all directions. This is the thorn in the side and also in the other side.
I want to rely on my faith, which I can say is wonderful, beyond wonderful. It is life-giving. It is just hard when the direction is unclear, the voices are inaudible at times, or too loud at others. Searching for the right words seems fleeting when you just want to crawl under your heaviest blanket and nap away into a delusion that sleep will put you on a fast track to the solution.
<Insert the NOPE button here, because that does not work!>
The Lord heals us. He binds up our broken hearts. He gives us direction. He leads us beside the stillness of all that is good. He protects us under His mighty wing. The Lord is wonderful. He is glorious. He is the hope that we need to long for and run after when we grieve and fight against the need to hide from all that has to be decided and faced.
The Lord also understands. He came down and did life with us so that we could see His true care for us, and His ultimate love at Calvary. Looking at Him in this light breaks the heart all the more because we should realize how much He broke His heart for us.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”
The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3:22-26
And in this, and despite my hope and joy in salvation, I grieve over all that I face and all that will come to pass that puts me through the fire. I know that there is a need to refine the human soul as we prepare for glory, but life is hard and sometimes I just want to go on vacation… let us just be real about it.
I just pray as we seek out what it means to look at a wonderful life and to see all of the Lord’s blessings, that we also see that without the refinery of fire, we would not be who we are in Him. He has blessed us with so much despite the trials of the season. I know it is just a season, and I hope it wraps itself in that neat package soon and tosses itself to the side so we can move on.
When peace like a river attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
“It is well, it is well with my soul.”
Author: Horatio Gates Spafford (1873)
More from this short series found at this link.
6 thoughts on “Looking for Wonderful: A Season of Trial and Fleeting Peace”
Goodness Maryann, I can so relate to your words and the emotions that run deeply through them. My heart is heavy for you as you face this challenging time. We sure couldn’t get through them without the strength that only comes from God. I hope you are soon on the other side and rejoicing at all He has done.
Looking for wonderful! Love this. This year I’m hoping to focus on healing and your words encouraged me to look deeper into scripture.
This was beautiful. I love (and need) scripture about waiting on the Lord and his sovereignty, goodness, and strength.
Oh, Maryann, I am so sorry you are going through a rough time. I’ll pray for you that the Holy Spirit will bring you comfort, courage, and wisdom during this time of refining.
Thank you. I appreciate your kind words. It’s just a tough season right now and I am trying to sort it by listening to the Lord’s guidance through prayer and Scripture.
Life can surely be difficult, challenging, and painful at times. And in the midst of those times, God is still with us, still faithful, and still holding us up. And that I can say is wonderful 🙂 That I never go through those hard times alone is a blessing beyond words. I so agree with you – those refining times do serve a purpose in our lives. They bring us to know our Lord more deeply, and I wouldn’t trade knowing Him for anything. Praying for you this morning – may the Lord’s Presence be near you, assuring you that you are held and loved by God.