The sultry push through the jumbled life of dealing with depression and all of its toppings seems like a dreadful task.
Pushing through for over 30 years with a seemingly no end in sight has been a drag to say the least. Waiting for the rain of grace and joy looked like a vain undertaking for many years.
At some instant I felt that there was no point in wringing hands, pacing the floor, and pleading with God over any kind of anguish that was thrown at me. Something needed to give. Sending up my hands in surrender only made me feel helpless.
I am sure you have heard the phrase, “It’s a heart issue.” I have heard this not long ago about a relative who stated that she wasn’t sure that she believed in God. Her loved ones said that she had a heart issue that needed to be worked through and that she’ll come around.
When I hear these types of things I think of my story and wonder if they think my lack of faith in my own healing was a heart issue as well? Two different stories, two types of questioning, one summary of our diagnoses. Dare we be lumped into the club of the wavering hearts?
Romans clearly states that we need a renewing and transformation of our minds, not our hearts (Romans 12:2). The Bible pours truths upon us about mind issues and not heart issues. Our stubborn self-seeking ways are what keeps us from having a heart relationship. How can our hearts be the ones to keep us from peace, healing or truth when our brains are the ones that are in denial.
Grace comes, pouring down like rain.
Hosea 6:3 Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.
When I surrendered in a fit of self-pity, I saw Him waiting there, patient for true acknowledgement. When I saw who He was in the midst of my dreary blindness, my head bowed to truth and my heart was filled next.
Will this same rain storm ever pour down upon my loved one? Is this child forever lost due to her head following her heart? I know there is hope. The Bible speaks volumes of this.
2 Timothy 2:13
If we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself.
As we continue to see His faithfulness despite tendencies to live in bondage to illness, doubt or sin, He remains the same. No matter what I, my family member, or anyone else says about our hearts feeling or doing, only He can pour down that mercy and convict us of righteousness.As we continue to see His faithfulness despite tendencies to live in bondage to illness, doubt or sin, He remains the same. Click To Tweet
I will pray for this loved one and have hope in the future. No matter the outcome, I do trust that it is all for the Lord’s glory.