Love and Marriage, Love and Relationships

Beloved: Thoughts on Purity in Married Relationships

Sometimes some of our contemporary thoughts on love relations are not so contemporary.  Love was made pure and for a married couple to show to each other in the confines of marriage, but after The Fall, our sin nature took over and put on somewhat permanent rose-colored glasses.  With these glasses firmly placed, our eyes and minds don’t see quite clearly.

What are some things, as a woman, that you see all rosy when in fact it’s not what God deems as pure?  Is being a sexual being pure?Choosing between sexual and spiritual shouldn’t have to be an issue inside of marriage.  You can read all about it in

Song of Solomon 2:3

As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,
    so is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in his shadow,
    and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

…it’s when we start deluding our minds that our expectations become deluded.  Our husbands start to not live up to the attractive, romantic nature of the men you may have seen standing at the bus stop, or that you saw on-line, or that you viewed on television.  He’s not the perverted, wealthy and sexy Mr. Grey that has been sold to the pop-culture moms out there waiting to get their Mommy Porn fix.  We are left jaded and disappointed because those men you see or read about are not real but portrayed as such and at the very least, we want to be apart of that fictional relationship that is very far-reaching.
I have thought long and hard about the above.  Adultery is not just physical acts.  Our biggest sex organ is the mind; what is most appealed to in a woman’s life.  We all want our bodies catered to in one way or another, but I, for one, want my mind to feel the best above all.

By filling our minds with lust for another, are we being obedient to God or respectful to our own Beloveds?

Matthew 5: 28                  
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Just remember, you can never un-see something.  Maybe it will fade over time, but there are so many easy reminders out there of our past sins that those faded visions may come back full-force.

Let’s fill our minds with something quite a bit more worthy of our time: our beloveds.  Let’s meditate a bit on some love verses and loving thoughts of our husbands.  When you start to fill your minds with the gifts God has given you, you will become obedient to His way and be far more blessed than to love in our sin nature…

Proverbs 19: 14
House and wealth are inherited from fathers,
    but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Proverbs 31: 10
An excellent wife who can find?
    She is far more precious than jewels.

Genesis 1: 28
And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Song of Solomon 1: 2
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your love is better than wine

Song of Solomon 2: 16
My beloved is mine, and I am his;
    he grazes among the lilies.

What are some ways that you show your beloved, outside of the physical, love?  Single ladies, what are the ways you look forward to being with the one God will put as your beloved?

Dannah Gresh has some wonderful insights and books about purity.  Her works are mostly geared towards Tweens, Teens and Young Adults, but there’s a lot of good nuggets of information and thoughts for adults.  Here’s a link to one of her articles and her over- all website.  She has also co-authored a book with Dr. Juli Slattery called Pulling Back the Shades.  You can find more information at the following websites or search for #pullingbacktheshades Both ladies can also be found on Facebook and Twitter.

Pure Freedom By Dannah Gresh

Authentic Intimacy with Dr. Juli Slattery

Pulling Back the Shades by Dr. Juli Slattery and Dannah Gresh

Join the conversation