Today’s Five Minute Friday post doesn’t come with a lot of fancy graphics or pretty Scripture cards.
Today’s post comes with a lot of exhaustion. From health problems and doctor appointments, broken hearing and broken legs to a husband who is missing out on most of the holiday season and homeschool responsibilities, and then add in home making, activities, and being 5000 miles away from my own parents, I am just kind of done. I don’t have balance, I have a bit of chaos.
I have been truly loved on this day yet I want to cry in how alone I feel. Today is a day I wish to have my mom and my husband hold me close and let me weep on their shoulders. I want to sit at each of my children’s besides and watch over their slumber so that I don’t miss a moment of their precious childhoods. In the morning I want to wake and create a plentiful experience for all that cross my path. But in all of that, I still feel alone.
What to do? I have prayed a lot today as I sat in an emergency room waiting and waiting for results and more. Still without final answers, I sit at my computer pondering our next moves and pouring these thoughts out to you in a weekly five-minute writing activity that sucks me in for at least twenty minutes.
So I keep on going. Keep praying, keep helping, keep serving, and find rest in the middle and maybe I will be just so full that I won’t have time to feel alone. I may balance out all things. The Lord may give me time to rest or He may have work in store for me, and I will be good with whatever it is because He is always good despite whatever my feelings are.
Before my children headed off to bed, we lit a candle for Jesus and read John 1:4-5.
In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
We talked about how because Jesus is light, we can be lights for Him. So the more I move, the more I teach and serve, and the more I pray, He will shine through me and I will never be alone no matter what I think I am. I will find that balance I seek.
He is surely good, all the time. I will praise Him all the days of my life.